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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

⏲ 4:49 👁 17.9M

Hannah's Extra

Skims Try On Haul Lacey Pyjamas and Cosy Clothes Spring 2024

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Create The Hannah Zip Pouch: How to Sew an Open Wide Lined Pouch Without Tabs!

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Knowing how to organize a small kitchen can feel like a challenge, but with a little expert guidance, lack of kitchen space needn’t be a problem. <br/><br/>When it comes to understanding how to organize a kitchen that is limited in size, the key is making better use of the space available. While most of us could use a bigger kitchen, more cupboards, or extra worktop space, using what we do have more efficiently can make the space feel stacks bigger without the need for a costly refurb.

Tips On Maximizing Tiny Kitchens

⏲ 0:36 👁 9.2M

Hannah's Extra

How To Home Pedicure - Feet Nail Painting Foot TLC

⏲ 7 minutes 14 seconds 👁 8K

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I Found the Original Owner of the Totaled Corvette! (Rebuilt)

⏲ 14 minutes 4 seconds 👁 55.6K

Ex-stuntman Colt Seavers is drafted back into service when the star of a mega-budget movie - being directed by his ex, Jody Moreno - goes missing.

The Fall Guy | Interview: Ryan Gosling & Emily Blunt

⏲ 4:45 👁 2.8M

Elanip Extra

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Tyler Oliveira

The Jew Capital VS The Muslim Capital of America…

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A Bridgerton superfan with a £6k wardrobe of period clothing says strangers constantly mistake her for an extra.<br/><br/>Sophie Andrews, 28, spent 10 years curating a regency wardrobe.<br/><br/>She owns 25 day dresses and 10 ballgowns -which are all handmade by her friend and fellow regency enthusiast, Abigail Rose, 33. <br/><br/>Sophie says she often gets mistaken for dressing specifically as a Brigerton character - and says people even think she's filming for the series.<br/><br/>She is looking forward to watching the latest season of Bridgerton where the protagonist, Penelope, is plus size like herself. <br/><br/>Sophie, an author, from Reading, Berkshire, said: “I’ve always loved Penelope as a character because she was on the side lines and not seen as pretty.<br/><br/>“I’m a larger girl so it will be nice to see that character coming into her own and getting her happy ending despite being seen as a wallflower who’s considered as pretty as the other characters.<br/><br/>“She deserves her happy ending, but I’m not sure about Collin, her love interest. He’ll have to impress me.<br/><br/>“I’ve watched every series with my best friend Abigail, and I suspect we’ll be staying up at midnight together to watch the first part of the new season.<br/><br/>“I’ve got very used to being out and about and people talking to me. It doesn’t faze me.<br/><br/>“People now stop me to speak about Bridgerton and I even get people asking if I’m filming something.”<br/><br/>Sophie has had a passion for regency clothing since she was 18 but says the rise of Bridgerton has led to a fresh attitude towards the period. <br/><br/>\

Bridgerton superfan with £6k of period clothing: \

⏲ 0:52 👁 2.3M

Hannah Ricketts

London's Most EXPENSIVE Fashion Shop On A Budget (Spoiler FAIL)

⏲ 32 minutes 30 seconds 👁 32.1K

2vintage

Seller Couldn't Fix This 625cc Supermoto So I Got It CHEAP

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